et out of my life!

Okay, now: confession. I'm bitchy. This is what I'm told like constantly and I agree. I guess I agree so easily because I actually like being bitchy. It makes a lot of things a lot easier. Like bitching. Which I need to do. A lot. And I have got perfect reasons.

1. People who don't know how to use escalators, elevators or public transportation properly.
Oh, my favorite ones. Now here are the most common mistakes those people make.

Regarding the escalators: Yeah, I know. YOU are not in a hurry, it's not YOUR train that's leaving in like two seconds and you absolutely need to talk to your friend RIGHT NOW. But you know what? I really don't care.
God, is it so hard? You stand on one side, you let other people pass on the other side. I don't even care which side, just pick one.
What's even worse is those guys that somehow manage to block the escalator all by themselves. They are so good at standing in nice people's ways they don't even need friends to assist. Well, who do you think you are? King of the escalator? Emperor of the magically moving stairs? Duh. Get out. Like now.

Regarding the elevators: Somehow most everyone managed to learn how to use those. But there are still those few that got some of the rules wrong. Like when you are waiting for an elevator and there it comes and it stops and - at least in my company - the little bell rings and the little light goes on and you are very happy that finally you will get in and go whereever you wanna go and then there door opens and you step in and... WAIT! Don't step in now! I'm in here. I want to get OUT! Which I can't, cause... I don't know how to put that... you kinda are in my way. The same things happens a hell of a lot more often with public transportation which we will learn in a minute, but that doesn't mean it sucks less with elevators.

Regarding the public transportation: Whoa... there is so much happening here that is just fundamentally wrong, I don't know where to start and I fear I won't know where to stop.
First, the getting on/getting off thing. It's easy guys, it's really, really easy. And I mean it. The train/bus/whatever stops, the door opens, stay by the side of the doors, let those nice people out (remember: it's a good thing they want to get out, since, more room for you now) and then get in. Like I said: easy.
Now this is how it doesn't work: The train/bus/whatever stops, the door is still in the process of opening and you are in. If you want to get to know the gentle touch of both of my elbows, now that's the way, but since I don't think so, let me out first.
This also includes not stopping short once you are in the train. Hello! There are people behind you. They would be delighted if they could get on that train, too. In other words: Make room. Now.

Another thing about public transportation that drives me crazy and hence is bitchworthy: the daily struggle for an empty seat. Which would be a lot easier if it weren't for all these people who actually think their precious belongings needed a seat much more urgently than I do.
Oh, don't bother, please. I'm sure your jacket is pretty exhausted, you know... from all the hanging and stuff. Well, I'm just up for like 12 hours or so, so it's nothing. No, no, no... getting up at 5:30 is really not so early and you know, I actually had about four hours of sleep which is a lot, I guess. So don't bother. I'll stand. Leave your jacket. It looks really tired.

Wow. I'm tired from bitching. (I'm not tired of bitching though, don't get your hopes up on that.)
But there are still those people who don't know how to walk, those who REALLY don't know how to dress, those that just suck and so much more. I'll come back to you. I promise.